Mr. Rossi Looks For Happiness (Or : Won't Someone Think Of The Last Row Party?)

In a true Mark Twain moment, rumours of Alexander Rossi's demise were greatly exaggerated.  Hauling his damaged leg and hand to an Indianapolis Cracker Barrel, he participated in his scheduled live show with James Hinchcliffe and Tim "Thim" Durham, who were as kind and sympathetic to him as you'd imagined they'd be.

Mr. Rossi on sparkling form. The meds are good

Though his appearance may not look promising for his participation in the race on Sunday, Rossi insists he'll be right for Carb Day on Friday.  Of course, he still has to be cleared by IndyCar medical who in the post-Terry Trammell era tend to take a dim view of recently screwed-together racing drivers doing 500 miles at 230mph.

So what will happen if, say, Alex's foot falls off after they remove his cast? Well, we can take the stampede of unemployed drivers to the ECR garage as read, and also Super Doug Boles putting together an emergency track refresher session.  But I'm most worried about the Last Row Party.

For those who don't know, the Last Row Party is a fundraiser held during Indy 500 race week where the drivers who have qualified 31st, 32nd, and 33rd get given cheques both huge in size and tiny in amount while being mercilessly mocked by the host.  As an Englishman, I myself am all for piss-taking, even if it needs a "good cause" to do so.  Now, some would say the caricatures in the publicity material are not as hilariously cruel as they once were, either because today's drivers are more sensitive than their predecessors or they're simply better looking (back in the 70s, the typical Row 11 resident was a grizzled sprint car driver, who had the face you'd imagine of someone who'd been regularly hit by rocks or had ended up upside-down in a ditch after going over the banks at Winchester Speedway), but everyone involved has fun.

So, if Alexander Rossi can't make the race, his replacement will be lining up 31st on Sunday, displacing the inimitable Sting Ray "Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour" Robb up to 30th, thus ruining all the plans and publicity for the LRP.  Won't someone think of the really important things, please?